Hi beautiful,
Same thing happened to me when I was in highschool. Come to find out many years later that the boys (men now) were too afraid to approach me in fear of rejection. I...
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Dear Alice,
I can't seem to be noticed. I am told all the time that I am beautiful by my friends, but the guys don't even give me a look. I wear semi-sexy (nothing revealing, just flattering) clothing and I stay in style. I have been asked to participate in beauty pageants. I am an honor student and I am 5'9" tall. Why can't I get any male attention and how do I change this?
Dear Reader,
There are many reasons why we are attracted to other people. Our attractions may be fueled by someone's "classic" beauty, or by the details of her or his face, body, and gestures that are what make each of us unique and intriguing. We may appreciate someone's sensitivity, creative side, intellect, or her or his engaging way of telling a story. You have told Alice how beautiful, how tall, and how smart you are. But relationships develop based on much more than these objective traits.
How would you describe your behavior when you are with other people? Are you warm and friendly? Do you introduce yourself and invite conversation, or wait for others to make the first move? How do you show people that you are interested in what they have to say? Think about what makes you feel good when you are talking with other people. One of the most successful ways to increase people's interest in you is to sincerely communicate your interest in them. Although you may not realize it, you may be giving off signals to others that make it difficult for them to approach you. By reaching out to them with a genuine smile, you can show that you are accessible and down-to-earth.
Sometimes this can be hard, though. Perhaps you are so nervous about how you look and how you are behaving that you don't notice when a potential love-interest is testing the waters. Many couples meet through activities which keep them focused on a mutual goal, and allow them to just "be themselves." Maybe you love to sing and there's a chorus at your school or local community center you can join. Or, maybe you could join a book discussion group, or take a photography course. Volunteer work — reading to the elderly, coaching soccer, delivering meals to people who are too sick to leave home — can make you feel good, and feeling good is always contagious. Whatever the activity, there are sure to be lots of new, interesting people with which to share your experiences.
Talk with your friends about what it is that they were attracted to in you, and how they think you are seen by other people. The likelihood is that there is more to their interest in you than how you look on the outside. They may have some insight into how you can make romantic connections, using the same skills you use to make friends. And who knows? Maybe they'll tell you that they know of tons of guys who want to ask you out, but who just don't have the guts!
For more practical advice, check out these two books which have helped a lot of other people discover new relationships, and themselves in the process:
Dale Carnegie's 1930s classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People
Penelope Russianoff's, Why Do I Think I am Nothing Without a Man?
January 23, 2008
Hi beautiful,
Same thing happened to me when I was in highschool. Come to find out many years later that the boys (men now) were too afraid to approach me in fear of rejection. I learned many years later how many boys in school told me how they had mad crushes on me and I never even knew it. Actually 25 years later I am now with one of those highschool crushes and has told me how he has always wanted to be with me... So if I were you, just be yourself and try to start to approach some of these boys even if it is a quick hello in passing... It's a start for them to see your not just beautiful but your nice also!!!
December 3, 2007
To the reader:
When I was studying psychology, I learned that men don't always approach beautiful/attractive girls, they tend to go after girls that they rank as their own league. So you'd...
To the reader:
When I was studying psychology, I learned that men don't always approach beautiful/attractive girls, they tend to go after girls that they rank as their own league. So you'd probably not run into a lot of men confident enough to approach you. I also agree with the others that inner beauty has a lot more to offer than being beautiful on the outside. Beauty fades, but having a great personality usually doesn't. Also grace and elegance, something beyond being beautiful, usually radiates from the inside. I think that wins a lot more hearts than just being superficially/artificially pretty or "sexy".