Dear Alice,

I've been having this problem with my girlfriend. Whenever we make out, I get the impression that she wants me to do something with her breasts... but I don't have the foggiest what to do.

I'm sure that they aren't there strictly for my enjoyment; so, what can I do with my girlfriend that would offer her some pleasure, as well?

I've tried other sources of information, but most other sources either concentrate solely on the vagina, g-spot, and clitoris, or they simply state that breasts are an erogenous zone and leave it at that.

— Clueless in Canada

Dear Clueless in Canada,

Here are some tips — that's TIPS — on breast-play along with this suggestion: You might simply ask your girlfriend how to handle, what is after all, a part of her body, as you so sensitively and respectfully pointed out in your question. As with her ears, lips, shoulders, stomach, hands, feet, and all those other lovely parts, you might try the following with breasts — and remember, your partner can help, too:

carress, cradle, turn, moisten,
stroke, dust, name, blow-dry,
kiss, suck, talk, hold,
fondle, protect, wash, nibble,
tickle, jiggle, woo, burrow,
lick, jangle, warm, bounce,
massage, twist, compliment, and...?

How fortunate your girlfriend is to have a companion with the caring and courage to ask such a question. Sex play is something we learn, not a skill-set imbedded in our genes that makes us natural-born pleasuring experts. Given the intense pressure that many of our cultures put on us to instinctively know what to do every time we're intimate, it takes a real man, or woman, to ask for directions.


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