What should I do about a friend's escalating drug use?

Dear Reader, 

You raise valid concerns about your friend’s well-being. Seeing a friend quit smoking and then returning to substance use can be jarring. It may also be confusing to see your friend using additional substances after having quit smoking. If you choose to talk to your friend, try to be mindful about how you approach the conversation. Educating yourself about these substances and doing a self-check-in about your concerns may be helpful. You could also encourage your friend to get appropriate professional help. 

What might be causing you to worry about your friend's drug use? 

First, you may want to reflect your feeling and concerns towards your friend’s drug use. 

Questions may help you re-evaluate or better understand your friendship: 

• What about your friend's drug use makes you feel worried? 
• What was your friendship like before he started using drugs? How has it changed? 
• Do you feel that your friend spends more time talking about drugs than other topics? 
• Am I fearful of my friend misusing these drugs?  

Second, it may be beneficial to educate yourself on the drugs he’s taking. Tobacco, cannabis, ecstasy, and steroids all have various effects on the body. Learning about each drug’s effects may give you more insight into what your friend is experiencing and any associated risks.  

Your answers to these questions and having prior knowledge on these drugs can be helpful if you choose to talk to your friend about his drug use. 

How can you approach a conversation with your friend about drug use with care? 

If you decide to talk with your friend, try to be intentional about how and when you approach him. There are also resources to help get the conversation started. Here are some steps you can take once you feel ready for that chat: 

• Find the right moment. Try to pick a time when your friend is calm, not busy, and in a private space. Chatting in person can also help you gauge his body language and stay engaged in the conversation.  
• Explain your concerns using “I” statements. Starting your sentences with “I feel” can help express why you feel concerned and what you’re noticing without placing blame.  
• Listen actively: Give your friend a chance to explain his thoughts and feelings. Try understanding the situation from his perspective without interruption.  
• Offer ongoing support: Let your friend know you’re around for future conversations. Set up a time and place to meet again so that your friend clearly knows you want to follow up. 

 List adapted from Verywell Mind 

Keeping these guidelines in mind can help your friend feel supported and help you gain more insight into his side of things. You also may not feel ready or prepared to have this conversation with your friend, and that’s okay! Even if you do speak with him, you may find at the end of the conversation that you’re not fully equipped with the skills to help your friend with his drug use. Either way, recognizing where you lack the tools to help your friend can still be useful and help your friend get connected to professional support.  

How can you connect your friend with appropriate professional help? 

A helpful approach is to ask them if it would be okay if you sent them some resources. They might feel a sense of consent or independence if they follow-up on these steps themselves. 

If your friend wants to access professional help, you could encourage them to speak with a substance use specialist, mental health professional, or other health care provider. You can also connect them to help through resources online. You can also suggest helping them find a provider or making the first appointment together. Many colleges and universities also have mental health or substance use and recovery services.  

Ultimately, though, it is your friend’s decision if he wants to stop or reduce his drug use. 

How can you protect your own well-being while your friend is dealing with drug use? 

Having a friend who is using drugs can take an emotional toll. It is important for you to take care of your own health as well as your friend’s. Reach out to someone you trust, set boundaries where you need them, and make space for your own support and well-being.  

 All the best,