Was I discriminated against?

Dear Mistreated, 

While what you’ve experienced isn’t uncommon, it doesn’t make it right. The truth is that discrimination is still prevalent in most of the world, and can affect almost anyone. Deciding whether you’ve encountered discrimination can be challenging, and repeated interactions can have a serious impact on your mental and emotional health. The good news is there are ways to help you get through these interactions. By thinking about how you encounter discrimination and how you connect with your identity, you may be able to build a strong defense against future mistreatment.  

What is discrimination? 

Discrimination describes a situation where someone is mistreated based on a part of their identity. It can be based upon practically anything, including race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, or—in your case—national origin. Discrimination is usually rooted in bias or prejudice against a specific group, and some people may not even realize that they act in a discriminatory way while others may do so on purpose. 

What can discrimination look like? 

Discrimination can happen anywhere and can be systemic or interpersonal. Most online resources about discrimination focus on systemic examples such as withholding job opportunities or rejecting housing applications from qualified candidates. Instances of interpersonal discrimination can involve rude behavior, snide comments, or—as you’ve encountered—patronizing or condescending language.  

Someone’s perception of you can be wrong, and they might discriminate based on that misconception. For example, if they don’t know much about your culture, they might jump to conclusions based on other cultures that they assume are similar. Or they may discriminate because the practices within the culture they are familiar with are more “normal”, instead of trying to learn more about the other culture. In some instances, interpersonal discrimination can be more subtle. These cases are often known as ‘microaggressions’, which refer to brief or passing displays of disrespect or discriminatory behavior. 

How can microaggressions impact your health? 

Microaggressions may seem ‘micro’ in nature, but when you experience them repeatedly they can start to have an impact on your mental and physical health. Some of the negative impacts on mental health include diminished self-confidence and academic achievement. Experiencing discrimination can also be associated with conditions such as depression or anxiety. Recent studies have also linked discrimination-related stress to physical health problems, ranging from high blood pressure to obesity. Furthermore, dealing with microaggressions frequently can actually be physically exhausting, leaving you less equipped to make decisions about your health and well-being. 

Why may your thoughts about discrimination be complicated?  

Considering the different forms of discrimination and its impact, it can be difficult to balance embracing your identity and trying to avoid being discriminated against. It may seem pretty straightforward—someone says or does something disrespectful, and you feel frustrated or offended. However, it’s completely normal to have equally complex feelings about your personal experiences with discrimination. Covering up or shying away from your identity could strain your mental and emotional health, as was noted. To minimize some of those harmful effects, consider reflecting on how these encounters make you feel: 

• How can you introduce yourself in a way that feels authentic to who you are? 
• What parts of your identity would you like to share, or celebrate with strangers or new acquaintances?  
• Why do you think you feel guilty when you shy away from your identity?  

To explore these questions more deeply, consider speaking with a mental health care provider. They can help you dissect how these interactions impact your life and how best to move forward.  

How can you respond to discrimination? 

If you recognize a situation as discrimination in the moment, and you feel safe enough to do so, you may choose to address the person and their comment directly. This can be done in a variety of ways such as: 

• Calling them out. This is often the most direct method and may lead to an emotional response back. It’s important not to let the person being called out center their emotions in the situation. To minimize that, you can use “I” statements to let them know how what they said made you feel.  
• Calling them in. This is still direct, but intentionally done in private, where others can’t hear and be a part of the conversation. This method may be done with someone you have a pre-existing relationship with. The person being addressed may still respond with high emotions, but coming back to how the comment or remark made you feel or how it may affect your relationship can be useful to redirect the interaction.  
• Writing it out. If you need some time to reflect on or process the experience, or you would feel more prepared by writing it out, you may choose to send a text or email to let the person know how their comment made you feel.  
• Asking for support. Many people find the best way to respond to discrimination is to form a strong support network. This can include friends, family, or identity-focused groups on your university campus. These people might be able to share their own experiences, provide support, or offer some helpful advice. Reaching out to others who share a specific identity may also help you maintain a positive and confident relationship with your own identity.  

List adapted from Education Week 

If you leave an interaction feeling uncomfortable or disrespected, remember that your feelings are valid. It may help to define that experience by the way it made you feel, and not by the intent of the other person. Research shows that even questioning whether or not you’ve experienced discrimination can have the same psychological effect as the offense itself, so how you feel matters.   

Are there more formal supports that you can reach out to? 

On universities or college campuses, there may be several resources available to help support you with your experiences of discrimination. For example, there may be identity-based groups around campus, or an office dedicated to official claims of race-based discrimination under Title VI.  

There are also national organizations that you can contact if you’re facing discrimination at an institutional level. Some of these organizations include the Office for Civil Rights, a government body that works with the Department of Education to ensure racial equity in education; or the NAACP, an example of a non-governmental agency that does similar work. 

At the end of the day, you’re right to question prejudice and discrimination. While equitable interactions with your peers should be the norm, it’s not always the case. How you feel during an interaction is the most important factor when engaging with others. That said, if you're overwhelmed by feelings of guilt or struggling with your mental and emotional health, it might be most helpful to turn to a mental health care provider for support.