Dear Alice,

I am a student, in high school in New Jersey. I'm almost 19. Where can I go to meet other gay girls. I'm so alone. I live in northern New Jersey.

Dear Reader,

You bring up a topic that many young adults struggle with — so even though it feels like it right now, you’re certainly not alone! There are a number of social, political, health, and academic resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) identified individuals living in New Jersey... and in the other 49 states, too. Taking some time to search the Internet or look into student groups at your school might yield some promising connections.

A great place to start is by searching online for LGBTQ community groups or organizations. There are many national and local chapters of organizations working on various efforts to support LGBTQ youth. You may also try looking for gay-related sections of many online networks. With any Internet search, you might encounter some sites that are less than desirable for your purposes, but you may also find some helpful resources. The LGBTQ Resource List from GLAAD may be a helpful place to start. Have you checked to see if your school has a gay-straight alliance, LGBTQ student group or office, Office of Multicultural Affairs, LBGTQ studies program, or other resources to help you find a connection? Chances are good that you aren’t the only one seeking sexual orientation or identity-based support.

You may also find it helpful to start looking at national organizations. If you’re searching for something closer to home, there may be separate chapters or organizations specifically for your region. If there aren't local chapters, they may also be able to help you find online communities in which you can participate. Here are a few to get you started:

And, finally, don't forget about your own backyard. That is, keep your eyes open and in tune with schoolmates who might share your interests. Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for flyers or social media posts about LGBTQ events happening in your community. You can also think about what type of community you'd like in the future. If you're looking into colleges or universities at some point, you can look into what resources each school has when making decisions about where to go. If you'll be moving out of northern New Jersey in your future, you can look into what resources are available in other locations so that you can become part of that community in your new home.

Good luck with your search,

Alice!

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