Dear Alice,

I have really small boobs. I know everybody says it doesn't matter, but I know to guys it does. I'm afraid if I'm doing something with a guy and he feels them, he'll laugh or something. It didn't happen last time, but it could with my new boyfriend. Is this just a confidence problem or something else?

A member of the itty bitty titty committee

Dear A member of the itty bitty titty committee,

If you were doing something with a guy, and by feeling him you discovered that he had a teeny weenie peenie, would you laugh, or something? Alice bets not, and thinks that as much as some guys are into breasts, they wouldn't launch into a stand-up routin e or anything if your bust turned out to be less than they had bargained for -- take your last mate, for example. And if they did chuckle, or chuck any potential relationship over your "under-average" endowments, then are these the kind of people you'd w ant to spend time with anyway? Wouldn't you rather be with guys and gals who know that we are so much more than our physiques and the things that hang off of them? Look at you: you're smart, thoughtful, and funny. As you build your self-esteem (a life long process even for Dolly Parton and Dirk Diggler), take pride in these assets so undervalued in a media culture hyper-focused on full figures.

This brings up another question: are you pitting your breasts against those regularly bouncing across boob tubes and magazine pages?... an uneven match due in part to today's electronic body-doctoring (see Hairless models: What's their secret? in Alice's General Health archives for more on this practice).


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