Dear Alice,

I have a normal sex life with my wife (once or twice a week), but I have been having a problem lately. I have had about four wet dreams last year. I don't know why but I feel really bad about this. Is there something wrong with me? How can I stop this???

Feeling Helpless

Dear Feeling Helpless,

No need to fret — wet dreams (a.k.a. nocturnal emissions) aren't just for adolescent males. While wet dreams are more prevalent among teens, older men and women can also experience these overnight orgasms. In fact, studies show that about 90 percent of men and around 37 percent of women have wet dreams or orgasms during sleep on occasion. Some people have them more often than others, and some people enjoy the experience more than others.     

Erotic dreams, including those that result in orgasm, happen whether we want them to or not. It isn't a sign that you need more sex, or that you or don't enjoy the sex you are having. If it is the content of the dreams that have you worried (for example: an ex-partner, a new sexual scenario, a bear on a tricycle, etc.…), remember that dreams and fantasies are ways for us to explore our sexuality without actually acting on fantasies. Many people dream or fantasize about situations and behaviors they are not interested in pursuing in their waking hours.

While having more sex or masturbating more often may help reduce your wet dreams, there is no guarantee that you will stop having them altogether. If they do continue, why not consider trying to enjoy the experience? Erotic dreams are perfectly normal and healthy, and the orgasms that often accompany them are simply other ways to enjoy our sexuality... even if it means having to do the laundry a little more often. 

Sweet dreams,

Alice!
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