Hey Alice,

If I had sexual intercourse with a man and he rammed me so hard that I bled a lot (and no, it was not my first time), should I see a doctor?

From, Rammed

Dear Rammed,

Yes, you need to see a primary care provider, nurse practitioner, or gynecologist to figure out where you are bleeding from, why it's happening, and what you can do about it. Once the source of the bleeding is identified, you and your health care provider can discuss treatment, and even prevention.

In your question, you describe your sexual experience using words like "ram" and "hard," which have a violent connotation. Was the sex with this man consensual? Were the particular activities something you agreed to? Is this a person you know well, or was this a one-time hook-up? Depending on the situation, your options for preventing this in the future may be different.

If you ever feel discomfort or pain during sex, you have the right to stop your partner. You can say something like, "No, this is too rough;" or, "Stop, you're hurting me!" You can also move away, then speak your mind and provide the information needed to ensure that you are comfortable and enjoying yourself. It may be easier to talk when you are not having sex; you can say something like, "The last time we had sex, you were a little too rough. It caused bleeding and I had to go to the doctor. I don't want that to happen again, so I will let you know when to stop or ease up, okay?"; or, "I need you to be gentle, slow, and tender with me, not just at the beginning, but all along the way." If your partner respects you, he'll want to know. If he doesn't care, you have a right to put on your clothes and say goodbye.


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