Thank you, Alice, for providing real information about female ejaculation, and for allowing responses.
The one reader response signed "puddles" made me feel much less like a...
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Alice,
Every time I feel like I want to orgasm, I stop because it feels like I have to pee. I don't know if I have to pee or if I'm really having an orgasm. Please help.
Dear Reader,
Sexual physiology has confused and confounded most people at some point. Wanting to have an orgasm, and having the courage to ask for the information you need to have one, are two big steps in the right direction.
As for your question, the answer depends on a few factors, one being your sex. Men do not urinate and ejaculate at the same time. When a man is about to ejaculate, the opening to his bladder closes to prevent urine from mixing with semen. So, men can feel free to relax and go with the flow, because they don't pee when they come.
For women, things are a little more complicated. It's possible for women to urinate and orgasm at the same time, and, as a result, some women do hold back on orgasms to prevent this from happening. However, it's also easy to confuse the sensation of impending orgasm with the urge to pee. What's more, many women experience "female ejaculation," which involves expelling a liquid that is not urine (read Orgasms, female ejaculation, and the G-spot, again for more info). Many women (and men) enjoy female ejaculation, even with the sometimes abundant fluid that accompanies orgasm.
During sex, you or your partner's fingers, hands, penis, or other object may be putting pressure on your bladder. If you look at female anatomy diagrams, it's easy to see how close the clitoris and vagina are to the bladder, and why the bladder might get prodded during sex. Women who have urinary stress incontinence sometimes "leak" urine when they laugh, sneeze, or orgasm. This is more common in women who have had children. Women can gain control over "leaking" by practicing Kegel exercises, which strengthen the pelvic muscles around the vagina and urethra. (To learn how, check out Kegel Technique.)
Women who do not experience urinary incontinence at other times, but feel the urge to pee when approaching orgasm, may be getting confusing messages from very sensitive parts of their bodies. The clitoris, often the focus of sexual pleasure for women, is located about a finger width above the opening of the urethra. It's hard to stimulate one without rubbing the other. You may feel most comfortable if you empty your bladder before sex (it's a good idea to pee before and after sex to help prevent urinary tract infections (UTIs) as well — see Urinating before and after sex: Can it prevent pregnancy and STDs?). That way you can feel free to let go and/or come!
January 3, 2008
Thank you, Alice, for providing real information about female ejaculation, and for allowing responses.
The one reader response signed "puddles" made me feel much less like a freak. For the past several months I have been having intense orgasms coupled with ejaculation when my girlfriend penetrates me with her hand or a dildo. I had never experienced this before in my near decade of sexual activity. Sometimes its just a few teaspoonfulls, but lately its been more. Much more. Last night we had to wash the sheets and sleep in the guest bedroom because I left such a huge puddle! Probably more than a cup of liquid. I was very ashamed and really worried that something was wrong with me. I was dreading going to the GYN and having to ask about it. Now I just tell my girlfriend that she has proof that she's doing a great job!
Thanks, Bashfully Wet
June 30, 2004
Alice,
I am a 25 y/o female who has just experienced female ejaculation. I went to my dr. about it because I though something was wrong with me. I wasn't sure what was going on. I accused my...
Alice,
I am a 25 y/o female who has just experienced female ejaculation. I went to my dr. about it because I though something was wrong with me. I wasn't sure what was going on. I accused my partner of urinating on me and he told me that it wasn't him. The second time it happened to me, he stopped penetrating and the fluid came shooting out. I was sitting here on the Internet trying to research this and I found that many studies don't believe it to be true. Well, I am living proof that this is true and it happens.